but how? but why? but why not? really? is this ok? is it not ok?
on and on goes my brain with so many questions lately.
so many questions...
i sit quietly and pray, asking over and over again for direction, for peace, for answers.
and i'm reminded that our God doesn't work on the same time table that we do.
i have a question and so i want an answer right away.
but He has me wait.
why i need to wait, i don't always know.
but i do.
and i know that it is good.
but while i'm waiting...
what do i do?
when i have questions that i am bringing before my Lord, i don't just spend all day, everyday, with my head bowed and my hands folded, waiting for an answer. i don't sit in my rocking chair twiddling my thumbs til He directs me. i don't let my brain sit on it, stew over it, and worry about it. those things will get me no where except in trouble.
so i search for answers in His letter.
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
A good understanding have all those who do His commandments;
His praise endures forever."
a-ha! wisdom! i need that! understanding! that's what i've been looking for!
"the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom..."
i think i have mentioned before that the fear of the Lord really is fear. it's an overwhelming awe and knee shaking understanding of His holiness and power, of His hate of sin and His justice in condemning all those who reject His gift to an eternal hell. it is a terrifying understanding of His power and sovereignty in everything throughout this entire universe that He created and He alone controls. so when you start to become fearful because you understand how big the Lord God really is, then you are starting to be wise.
now, apply that knowledge to your daily life.
when i understand how He is in absolute control over events, actions, everything; then i will rest in peace while i wait for answers to the requests that i send up daily. i will be at peace because of His enormous hand that controls my life and i will not worry about making the wrong choice when i am seeking His choice because He won't bring me to a place to choose until He's shown me.
"a good understanding have all those who do His commandments..."
this is the 'in the mean time' part. while i am resting in peace, waiting for answers, i do His commandments. while i'm waiting, i work. on what? well, start with the things you already know you are supposed to do. things like the fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5. or the list of short commands from 1 Thessalonians 5 with things like "rejoice always," or "in everything give thanks,". too broad? ok, maybe just start with Proverbs 15:1 and only let gentle words out of your mouth and not angry words. it's a big book, this Holy Bible, that we've been given. if you take the time to read and find the commandments that He gives to His children, you will already have a giant list of things to do. add to that the daily work we are called to do heartily, as for the Lord (Colossians 3:23). things like dishes, washing clothes, cooking meals, all of the little necessary things that God has given us to do. so keep yourself busy with the things you already know you should do, and though that He will give you good understanding in the things you don't know what to do.
"His praise endures forever."
i need to thank and glorify His name for the answers He does give me. i need a thankful heart for the directions He gives and for the fact that He takes the time to hear my requests and carefully answer them. and the praise that i offer up, that will last forever! it will go on and on, even if the request is short lived. the fact that He is so good to hear me is a truth worth praising Him for all of eternity!
so i still may not have answers to all of my questions.
but now i do know,
while i'm waiting on what i don't know...
i work on what i do know!