Wednesday was the last day of work for my Nicholas. Yes, he finished out early. It worked out better for our finances that way, since we could qualify for some assistance with our Cobra payments by him being laid off in March. Praise our God for the ways He takes care of us.
So, I now have my hubby around the house a lot more than I’m used to. The boys and I try to stay out of his hair when he’s on the phone or computer so that he can get things done. But, I’m so thankful to be able to see him so much & for the ways he is so willing to help out. Little things like having lunch with him, being able to run to the store during nap time, and not having to keep quite such a close eye on the boys when I’m moving from room to room cleaning the house, have been such a huge blessing.
I’m so thankful to have him around home more, just not so excited for the reason.
And I believe I was saying the exact same thing this time last year. Of course, this has been a lot easier than cancer and chemo. Mainly for 2 reasons.
First, because we kind of saw this coming. When it comes to construction, there is almost nothing happening here in the Vegas valley. So the option of moving had been talked about with Penta, considering they have been bidding on projects in southern Cal, Arizona, and other locations. But even still, the company has only been picking up about half the amount of revenue they did last year, and so they haven’t been able to keep everyone on. They had previously announced that there was the possibility of lay offs coming, and so we knew there was a chance of Nick being cut once his project was finished. So we weren’t blindsided when this news came.
The second reason this isn’t as hard is because… well, chemo sucks! My husband was being torn down physically so that the cancer would die, and that was tearing him down emotionally. There were moments when he seemed so depressed, so sick and tired in so many ways, and at times, not himself. I had to be the strong one. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. And that is a terribly hard thing to do anytime, let alone when you are in your last trimester of pregnancy. But God is faithful and He gives strength to His children when they ask. He gave me 2 passages of scripture to cling to.
2 Corinthians 1:3-5
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.”
“Oh give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples. Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; Speak of all His wonders. Glory in His holy name; Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad. Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face continually. Remember His wonders which He has done, His marvels and the judgments uttered by Him mouth,”
So the growth produced last year has set us up solidly for this year. I know we are just at the start of the job search, and I’m sure things are going to get harder the longer Nick remains unemployed. The thought of selling our first house after only a year is disheartening, and even more so when we think about the fact that the market sunk even further after we bought our house, so we are going to be taking a loss on this place. I know the closer I get to the bottom of the deep freezer (which, by the grace of God, is pretty darn full at the moment) the more nerves I’m going to get and the more creative I will have to be with my cooking and grocery shopping. And as the boys grow (which we are well overdue for a growth spurt from them both), they will wear hand me downs and thrift shop finds even more than they already do.
But even with these thoughts trying to chase me down throughout my day, I’m often recalling Matthew 6:25-34
“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
God will take care of us, even when we have to sell our house for a loss. God will take care of us, even when the freezer runs low. God will take care of us, even when the boys need more clothes & shoes & diapers. Because of His loving care for us, His children, we know we will be ok.
So what do we do in the mean time? While we wait for someone to respond to the dozens of resumes that Nick has sent out, or the dozens more he will be sending out? Verse 33 says it, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” I also see it over and over again in Psalm 119.
Verse 5 “Oh that my ways may be established To keep Your statutes!”
Verse 8 “I shall keep Your statutes; Do not forsake me utterly!”
Over and over again, I see the writer of this Psalm talk about seeking the Lord, keeping His commandments, observing His precepts, and waiting on God to take care of him and give him other directions.
Verse 88 “Revive me according to Your lovingkindness, So that I may keep the testimony of Your mouth.”
Verse 100 “I understand more than the aged, Because I have observed Your precepts,”
While this trial is hard, it’s result is good.
Verse 71 “It is good for me that I was afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes.”
I go to the Word of God. There I have in black and white what I need to be doing. These things are the priority in my life. These things impact more than just this day, they are eternal.
So I revise my earlier question about “what do we do in the mean time?” Our first priority is to do the commandments we find in scripture, and we look for a job in the mean time. We work to teach our sons the ways of the Lord, and love the brethren, and share the gospel, and show love and patience and kindness and joy. And then, in the mean time, we get a job and work. Because God will provide what we need to live, and we live to serve our God!